Girl Scout Cookie Wasted

It has been 5 days since I finished my juice cleanse and I have to admit I am struggling so bad diet wise. I did well the first few days. I ate clean and small meals and stuck to my IF schedule. Then Saturday happened…the day I was looking forward to all week. I went to Gomo’s for fleet of Sol, fried shrimp, and fries. Oh my goodness why oh why did I do that? First of all it was good…but not that good. Especially for what the consequences were. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday in the bathroom and feeling sluggish and weighed down. That lead to Monday feeling like I needed to carb up because my energy was low. I have devoured a box of girl scout cookies, two turkey sandwiches, and two bowls of soup today. That is way more than I have been eating.

I know it’s only a few days and it’s not too late to get back on track. I have two more days before I have to weigh again and then Thursday I start another cycle of juice cleansing. my goal was to not gain any weight back this week or if I do keep it under 5 lbs. Right now I am afraid that’s not going to happen. SO I am going to have to keep it really clean tomorrow and Wednesday and work my butt off those two days. What really scares me is that this is a start to a downward spiral of getting out of control again.

I hate how much attention I have to pay to the food I eat. I wish there were an easy button where I could have a treat once and then walk away. I was at that point two weeks ago but it seems like a trigger was pulled and I am slipping backwards. I know this is not the ending…it’s the progression of the journey and I have to find a way to push past it and get back on track. I just wish it were not this difficult all the time.

I was just thinking today about the parent I want to be for my kids and the partner I want to be for the man that I want to spend my life with and siting on the sofa eating cookies is not her. So why can’t that be enough of a reason for me to say no some days?