The Truth About Support

 

What do you do when the people you expect to support you the most are not there for you they way you want or need them to be? I found myself asking this question a few days ago and it really bothered me until I realized that it ultimately is not their job and I cannot force them to be there the way I expect. This seems so silly really. When you want the best for your friend or loved one it is easy to feel that your harmless suggestions and questions about their choices are just a part of being supportive. That gentle question about weightless surgery when you see them struggling daily to slowly drop the weight they have been carrying all of their live seems about as supportive as you can get. However, to that person that is in the gym everyday hurting every second, feeling like they are dying every moment but still showing up the next day, your gentle suggestion can feel like a giant slap in the face.

I admit I might be a little more sensitive to this topic. I have been asked countless times why I don’t choose to have weightless surgery. The most hurtful instance was when I was 9 months pregnant with my son and was asked by a nurse that was examining me because we thought I was in labor. You would think with the advent of weight loss surgery, especially for someone like me, it would be a no brainer. Why would I not want to have my stomach reduced to the size of a walnut so I cannot over eat and by pure nature lose the weight I need to be healthy and active? Everyone has their own reasons for having the surgery or for choosing other options. I feel like it is just as interesting as making the decision between the toilet paper rolling over or under the roll. There is no right or wrong answer…everyone has their own path. I think the confusion comes in when the challenges associated with the decisions are evaluated. Surgery is a major decision and so is non-surgical weight loss.

Everyday I wake up and I know that I have to get my kids ready for school and I have to prepared for myself both physically and mentally to show up for my daily workout. This is no easy task, but it is the path that I have chosen and I am very confident with my decision. So while I used to get angry when I didn’t receive support from others in the way I expected, I have learned to understand that it is not their obligation to understand or react any particular way to my choices. I however, am obligated to myself to give my best daily in order to achieve my goals.